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[12 Dec 10\4:27pm]
A certain day became a presence to me;
there it was, confronting me -- a sky, air, light:
a being. And before it started to descend
from the height of noon, it leaned over
and struck my shoulder as if with
the flat of a sword, granting me
honor and a task. The day's blow
rang out, metallic -- or it was I, a bell awakened,
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.

- Denise Levertov "Variation on a Theme by Rilke"

TE KOOP [27 Sep 09\4:25pm]
[ music | Simian Mobile Disco - Audacity Of Huge | Powered by Last.fm ]

Dingen te koop.

8 » commentt

denise levertov, pt.1 [26 Sep 09\10:00am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | foals. ]

Everything that Acts Is Actually
From the tawny light
from the rainy nights
from the imagination finding
itself and more than itself
alone and more than alone
at the bottom of the well where the moon lives,
can you pull me

into December? a lowland
of space, perception of space
towering of shadows of clouds blown upon
clouds over
new ground, new made
under heavy December footsteps? the only
way to live?

The flawed moon
acts on the truth, and makes
an autumn of tentative
silences.
You lived, but somewhere else,
your presence touched others, ring upon ring,
and changed. Did you think
I would not change?

The black moon
turns away, its work done. A tenderness,
unspoken autumn.
We are faithful
only to the imagination. What the
imagination
seizes
as beauty must be truth.
What holds you
to what you see of me is
that grasp alone.


Action
I can lay down that history.
I can lay down the imaginary lists
of what to forget and what must be
done. I can shake the sun
out of my eyes and lay everything down
on the hot sand, and cross
the whispering threshold and walk
right into the clear sea, and float there,
my long hair floating, and fishes
vanishing all around me. Deep water.
Little by little one comes to know
the limits and depths of power.


Variation on a Theme by Rilke
A certain day became a presence to me;
there it was, confronting me--a sky, air, light:
a being. And before it started to descend
from the height of noon, it leaned over
and struck my shoulder as if with
the flat of a sword, granting me
honor and a task. The day's blow
rang out, metallic--or it was I, a bell awakened,
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.


Lonely Man
An open world
within its mountain rim:
trees on the plain lifting
their heads, fine strokes
of grass stretching themselves to breathe
the last of the light.
Where a man
riding horseback raises dust
under the eucalyptus trees, a loing way off, the dust
is gray-gold, a cloud
of pollen. A field
of cosmea turns
all its many faces
of wide-open flowers west, to the light.

It is your loneliness
your energy
baffled in the stillness
gives an edge to the shadows-
the great sweep of mountain shadow,
shadows of ants and leaves,
the stones of the road each with its shadow
and you with your long shadow
closing your book and standing up
to streach, your long shadow-arms
stretching back of you, baffled.


Excerpt from Christmas 1944
The wind has no tales to tell of sea and city,
a plague on many houses, fear knocking on the doors;
how venom trickles from the open mouth of death,
and trees are white with rage of alien battles.
Who can be happy while the wind recounts
its long sagas of sorrow? Though we are safe
in a flickering circle of winter festival
we dare not laugh; or if we laugh, we lie,
hearing hatred cackle in the coal,
the voice of treason, the voice of love.

3 » commentt

HELÈNE CIXOUS - The Laugh of Medusa [18 Sep 09\11:31pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | janine jansen ]

...I write this as a woman, towards women. When I say 'woman,' I'm speaking of woman in her inevitable struggle against conventional man; and of a universal woman subject who must bring women to their senses and to their meaning in history. But first it must be said that in spite of the enormity of the repression that has kept them in the the "dark" --that dark which people have been trying to make them accept as their attribute-- there is, at this time, no general woman, no one typical woman. What they have in common I will say. But what strikes me is the infinite richness of their individual constitutions: you can't talk about a female sexuality, uniform, homogeneous, classifiable into codes --any more than you can talk about one unconscious resembling another. Women's imaginary is inexhaustible, like music, painting, writing: their stream of phantasms is incredible.

I have been amazed more than once by a description a woman gave me of a world all their own which she had been secretly haunting since early childhood. A world of searching, the elaboration of knowledge, on the basis of systematic experimentation with the bodily functions, a passionate and precise interrogation of her erotogeneity. This practice, extraordinarily rich and inventive, in particular as concerns masturbation, is prolonged or accompanied by a production of forms, a veritable aesthetic activity, each stage of rapture inscribing a resononant vision, a composition, something beautiful. Beauty will no longer be forbidden.

I wished that woman would write and proclaim this unique empire so that other women, other unacknowledge sovereigns, might exclaim: I, too, overflow; my desires have invented new desires, my body knows unheard-of songs. Time and again I, too, have felt so full of luminous torrents that I could burst --burst with forms much more beautiful than those which are put up in frames and sold for a stinking fortune. And I, too, said nothing, showed nothing; I didn't open my mouth, I didn't repaint my half of the world. I was ashamed. I was afraid, and I swallowed my shame and my fear. I said to myself: You are mad! What' the meaning of these waves, these floods, these outbursts? Where is the ebullient, infinite woman who, immersed as she was in her naiveté, kept in the dark about herself, led into self-disdain by the great arm of parental-conjugal phallocentrism, hasn't been ashamed of her strength? Who, surprised and horrified by the fantastic tumult of her drives (for she was made to believe that a well-adjusted normal woman has a...divine composure), hasn't actually accused herself of being a monster? Who, feeling a funny desire stirring inside her (to sing, to write, to dare to speak, in short, to bring out something new), hasn't thought she was sick? Well, her shameful sickness is that she resists death, that she makes trouble.

And why don't you write? Write! Writing is for you, you are for you; your body is yours, take it. I know why you haven't written. (And why I didn't write before the age of twenty-seven.) Because writing is at once too high, too great for you, it's reserved for the great --that is for 'great men'; and it's 'silly'. Besides, you've written a little, but in secret. And it wasn't good, because it was in secret, and because you punished yourself for writing, because you didn't go all the way, or because you wrote, irresistibly, as when we would masturbate in secret, not to go further, but to attenuate the tension a bit, just enough to take the edge off. And then as soon as we come, we go and make ourselves feel guilty --so as to be forgiven; or to forget, to bury it until the next time....

The Dark Continent is neither dark nor unexplorable. It is still unexplored only because we've been made to believe that it was too dark to be explorable. And because they want to make us believe that what interests us is the white continent, with its monuments to Lack. And we believed. They riveted us between two horrifying myths: between the Medusa and the abyss. That would be enough to see half the world laughing, except that it's still going on. For the phallogocentric sublation is with us, and it's militant, regenerating the old patterns, anchored in the dogma of castration. They haven't changed a thing: they've theorized their desire for reality! Let the priests tremble, we're going to show them our sexts!

Too bad for them, if they fall apart upon discovering that women aren't men, or that the mother doesn't have one. But isn't this fear convenient for them? Wouldn't the worst be, isn't the worst, in truth, that women aren't castrated, that they have only to stop listening to the Sirens (for the Sirens were men) for history to change its meaning? You only have to look at the Medusa straight on to see her. And she's not deadly. She's beautiful and laughing....

We've been turned away from our bodies, shamefully taught to ignore them, to strike them with that stupid sexual modesty; we've been made victims of the old fool's game: each one will love the other sex. I'll give you your body and you'll give me mine. But who are the men who give women the body that women blindly yield to them? Why so few texts? Because so few women have as yet won back their body. Women must write through their bodies, they must invent the impregnable language that will wreck partitions, classes and rhetorics, regulations and codes, they must submerge, cut through, get beyond the ultimate reverse-discourse, including the one that laughs at the very idea of pronouncing the word 'silence', the one that, aiming for the impossible, stops short before the word 'impossible' and writes it as 'the end.'

Such is the syntax of women that, sweeping away syntax, breaking that famous thread (just a tiny little thread, they say) which acts for men as a surrogate umbilical cord, assuring them --otherwise they couldn't come-- that the old lady is always right behind them, wathcing them make phallus, women will go right up to the impossible....

3 » commentt

[9 Sep 09\5:14pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | arctic monkeys. ]

"The sea is golden, speckled with white points of light, lapping with a sort of mechanical self-satisfaction under a pale green sky. How huge it is, how empty, this great space for which I have been longing all my life."
- Iris Murdoch: The Sea, The Sea

commentt

[23 Feb 09\10:57pm]


Me and Maaike just saw The Fall which is one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking things I've ever seen. Not just because Lee Pace was crying, the entire story was SO sad and the imagery was absolutely extraordinary. You should all watch it!



8 » commentt

my 20 favourite albums; [22 Feb 09\10:53pm]
[ music | black rebel motorcycle club. ]

I decided not to include any Beatles albums, because I wouldn't be able to choose and then the top 10 would just be Beatles (apart from #1 which is Micah) and that'd be boring. I also didn't include any classical things for the same reason (top 20 Shosty recordings would be something else entirely). And you might notice that some of my absolute favourite bands (Red Light Sting, Hint Hint, Hot Hot Heat, These Arms Are Snakes, JR Ewing etc.) aren't mentioned, but that's because my favourite works by them are EP's. Anyway, it took me a long time to write this (although obviously I got quite lazy with some descriptions) and to upload the songs, so I'd appreciate it if you'd give it a look/listen :).

1. Micah P. Hinson - Micah P. Hinson and the Gospel of Progress
Yes, this is actually my favourite album of all time. It's probably the album I've listened to most, the year that I got it it hardly ever left my cd player. And I still love it as much as I did then. All of the songs are extremely beautiful, the lyrics are heartbreaking yet hopeful, and Micah has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard.
Favourite songs: Stand In My Way / The Day Texas Sank to the Bottom of the Sea

2. Pleasure Forever - Alter
I don't even remember how I got into them, probably through my GSL-obsession? It doesn't matter anyway, because they are definitely one of my absolute favourite bands. There is an intensity to their music that most bands never achieve, certainly not on record. I haven't a clue how to describe their sound though.. it's dark and slightly creepy (though not to the level of the Paper Chase), yet extremely melodic. Just listen!
Favourite songs: This Is the Zodiac Speaking / Tempest II

3. Simian - Chemistry is What We Are
I remember first getting into Simian after seeing "One Dimension" on MTV (remember when it was actually good?) and buying the CD as soon as it came out. I was lucky enough to see them twice on their CIWWA tour, as during that time they really were the best live band I've ever seen. So many people seem to be into Simian Mobile Disco nowadays without being aware of the fantastic band that they first started as. And if you only know the second album, you might be surprised by CIWWA, as it's very lo-fi and folky. It's amazing though.
Favourite songs: One Dimension / Round and Around / The Wisp

4-20 )

12 » commentt

[13 Dec 08\4:54pm]
"Dirigent Salonen kan componeren, dat is het probleem
MUZIEK, Roland de Beer
gepubliceerd op 13 december 2008 03:00, bijgewerkt op 13 december 2008 09:59


AMSTERDAM - Het probleem met Esa-Pekka Salonen, een dirigent die door het Concertgebouworkest niet vaak genoeg kan worden uitgenodigd, is dat hij denkt dat hij kan componeren. Het probleem is des te groter omdat hij dat ook echt kan.

Wat Salonen opschrijft, tussen het dirigeren van het Los Angeles Philharmonic en andere toporkesten door: nooit zijn het dode noten. Neem het Pianoconcert dat de 50-jarige Fin donderdag in Amsterdam introduceerde, als opmaat tot Stravinsky’s Vuurvogel: het beweegt en het bruist en het tiereliert, het is een en al vivace. Alleen, je nam er weinig van mee. Zijn muziek spoelt zo weer weg.

De traditie van componerende gastdirigenten is groot bij het Concertgebouworkest. Stravinsky was er een van, en Salonen nam elf jaar geleden al zijn eigen LA Variations mee. De vraag is wel – net als bij de Fin Olli Mustonen, die zich volgende week bij de Radio Kamerfilharmonie manifesteert als pianist, dirigent en componist – of de muziek in andere constellatie ook het podium zou hebben gehaald. Salonen kan beter componeren dan zijn collega Lorin Maazel (bij het KCO ook geen onbekende). En Salonens programma van deze week riekte minder naar koppelverkoop dan het gastoptreden volgende maand van Gennadi Rozdjestvenski bij het Residentie Orkest, dat hem op de rol heeft als dirigent, als echtgenoot van de pianiste (Postnikova), en als arrangeur van een eigen Bartokiana-suite.

Toch kan er een spoortje tragiek in worden gezien, dat Salonen zo’n verrekt goede dirigent werd dat zijn eerste roeping nu op de tweede plaats staat. In het Pianoconcert dat hij vorig jaar opdroeg aan Yefim Bronfman – die ook in Amsterdam de pianopartij waarnam – toont Salonen zich een orkestkenner in optima forma. Epaterende pauken, trommen en conga’s; uitgekookte combinaties van piano, vibrafoon en marimba; hoogte (drie piccolo’s), laagte (contrafagot, contrabasklarinet), een neuriënde saxofoon; solostrijkers en zaagcollectieven; hameren en golven, met en zonder piano, en met Ravel en Skrjabin in de harmonie. En toen was het, floep, weer weg. De vraag is of er bij Salonen nog wel verdieping in zit.

In Stravinsky’s Vuurvogel werd duidelijk waarom het KCO Salonen graag over de vloer heeft. Hij hoort tot ’s werelds beste Stravinskydirigenten. Uitgevoerd werd de oorspronkelijke danspartituur, een versie die alleen ballet-maatslaanders op het repertoire hebben, en kenners die het zonde vinden ook maar iets van Stravinsky weg te gooien (zoals Stravinsky zelf deed toen hij zijn concertsuites samenstelde). De muzikale passen op de plaats in deze versie danken hun logica aan het oorspronkelijke dansscenario. Bij Salonen leken ze niet te bestaan. Bij hem vormen vaart en mysterie geen tegenstelling.

Goed vooruitzicht voor Louis Andriessen, wiens concert voor twee piano’s en orkest Haags hakkûh volgende maand in première gaat in Los Angeles – op de valreep. Het chefschap van Salonen verplaatst zich komend seizoen naar het Londense Philharmonia Orchestra."

-

Hier was ik bij en ik vond het echt geweldig en prachtig, maar de recensie is op zich ook wel eerlijk. Het pianoconcert is echt een stuk waar je meerdere keren naar moet luisteren voordat het 'klikt', denk ik. Salonen vertelde ook voordat het orkest begon te spelen wat over zijn compositie, hoe hij ermee aan de slag was gegaan, waarom het voor Bronfman was geschreven, en wat de ideeën erachter waren. Zeer interessant. Salonen blijft duidelijk mijn favoriete dirigent, en een van mijn twee favoriete hedendaagste componisten (de ander is Matthias Pintscher). Misschien post ik wel een keer wat van zijn muziek :).
4 » commentt

[5 Apr 08\12:18am]
[ mood | tired ]

In true geek fashion, I have just purchased my third Shostakovich-complete-symphonies boxset, this time conducted by Rostropovich (I already had Barshai and Jansons). Obviously this one is extra special, because Rostropovich and Shostakovich were such good friends, and Shosty asked Rostro personally if he would please perform and record all of the symphonies. I can't wait to listen to all of them and find out how great they are. I'm listening to the 13th as we speak, and it's wonderful/tragic, as it should be. I love the 13th. Babi Yar was one of the most atrocious things that ever happened in the history of the human race, and it's extraordinary that such a beautiful piece of music has been constructed in its history (obviously thanks to Yevtushenko). Let's hope we never forget.

Babii Yar by Yevtushenko )

2 » commentt

important. [27 Sep 07\10:39am]
[ mood | busy ]

Paul Celan: Todesfuge

Schwarze Milch der Frühe wir trinken sie abends
wir trinken sie mittags und morgens wir trinken sie nachts
wir trink und trinken
wir schaufeln ein Grab in den Lüften da liegt man nicht eng
Ein Mann wohnt im Haus der spielt mit den Schlangen der schreibt
der schreibt wenn es dunkelt nach Deutschland dein goldenes Haar Margarete
er schreibt es und tritt vor das Haus und es blitzen die Sterne er pfeift seine Rüden herbei
er pfeift seine Juden hervor lässt schaufeln ein Grab in der Erde
er befiehlt uns spielt auf nun zum Tanz

Schwarze Milch der Frühe wir trinken dich nachts
wir trinken dich morgens und mittags wir trinken dich abends
wir trinken und trinken
Ein Mann wohnt im Haus der spielt mit den Schlangen der schreibt
der schreibt wenn es dunkelt nach Deutschland dein goldenes Haar Margarete
Dein aschenes Haar Sulamith wir schaufeln ein Grab in den Lüften da liegt man nicht eng

Er ruft stecht tiefer ins Erdreich ihr einen ihr andern singet und spielt
er greift nach dem Eisen im Gurt er schwingts seine Augen sind blau
stecht tiefer die Spaten ihr einen ihr andern spielt weiter zum Tanz auf

Schwarze Milch der Frühe wir trinken dich nachts
wir trinken dich mittags und morgens wir trinken dich abends
wir trinken und trinken
ein Mann wohnt im Haus dein goldenes Haar Margarete
dein aschenes Haar Sulamith er spielt mit den Schlangen

Er ruft spielt süsser den Tod der Tod ist ein Meister aus Deutschland
er ruft streicht dunkler die Geigen dann steigt ihr als Rauch in die Luft
dann habt ihr ein Grab in den Wolken da liegt man nicht eng

Schwarze Milch der Frühe wir trinken dich nachts
wir trinken dich mittags der Tod ist ein Meister aus Deutschland
wir trinken dich abends und morgens wir trinken und trinken
der Tod ist ein Meister aus Deutschland sein Auge ist blau
er trifft dich mit bleierner Kugel er trifft dich genau
ein Mann wohnt im Haus dein goldenes Haar Margarete
er hetzt seine Rüden auf uns er schenkt uns ein Grab in der Luft
er spielt mit den Schlangen und träumet der Tod ist ein Meister aus Deutschland

dein goldenes Haar Margarete
dein aschenes Haar Sulamith

2 » commentt

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